


Fondue With You

by Bwilla, Tra



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Other, Steve is Confused, Steve is such a virgin, Stony - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-29
Updated: 2013-10-29
Packaged: 2017-12-30 19:48:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1022698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bwilla/pseuds/Bwilla, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tra/pseuds/Tra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony asks the team if they want fondue. Steve is appalled and storms out. The rest of the Avengers have no idea what his problem with it is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fondue With You

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Fondue With You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10314941) by [WTF_Avengers_2017](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WTF_Avengers_2017/pseuds/WTF_Avengers_2017)



 

Steve breathed in a great big breathe of the fresh air. He could do that now, because he was no longer in New York, and their was actually fresh air available to breathe. He took in another delicious lungful and turned to the team. They were in the living area of their rented beach house, courtesy of one Mr. Tony Stark. Natasha and Bruce were drinking tea. Bruce was doing a word puzzle and Natasha, sharpening her knives. Thor was rooting around in the cabinets for enough food to satisfy him for the next two hours. Clint was stuffing his face with a chocolate bar and watching some movie or another on his portable 'DVD' player. Tony wasn't in the rooms behind him. He was...sleeping? Really, Steve didn't put it upon himself to track Tony's irregular schedule. It was just the team, some sort of 'If you're going to be a team, you're damn well gonna act like one and spend some damn time together' thing Fury had cooked up. It was nice. Tony was 'enjoying his Pepper freedom' as long as he could milk it, so he was doing whatever he wanted to do, really. Steve wasn't constantly under watch and alone, Clint and Natasha got away from the SHIELD life for awhile, and Thor got to...well, he was away from other people, which was damage control in and of itself. Bruce was enjoying not constantly having to be on the run from one Mr. Thaddeus Ross. The skeeze. And usually Steve wouldn't think a thing like that about someone, but hearing the things he did in the name of his own daughter's safety and other Bull like that just made him so, so angry! 

Steve didn't realize he had slammed his orange juice down until the team looked over.

"Oh, sorry. I was just thinking and I got all carried away," he said. Bruce went back to his word puzzle and Thor his cereal, but the assassins continued to look at him. He guiltily looked away, then realized he was a captain and shouldn't be afraid to look anyone in the eye and looked back. Of course, they were doing other things by then. Figures. Tony sauntered in not a second later with his third martini of the day in hand and all smiles.

Tony took in the wide variety of people in his house, what were they going to eat that night? Everyone had very different tastes and he was not ordering an entire restraunt again, they did that yesterday. "So what do you guys think about fondue tonight? We can have oil, chocolate, _and_ cheese," he enticed them.

Steve sputtered. Did he just...? 

"Tony! You can't just, just  _ask_  a group of people if they want  _fondue."_ He told him, horrified. "You don't just- Jesus, Tony- that's so...so  _rude!_  And wrong! Fondue is a  _private occasion_ and you can't just-" He gestured helplessly.  _And there were three different kinds? When did this happen? Did Peggy know?_

"Well I want fondue, how is it rude to ask that? And I have all three kinds in case someone doesn't like one of them." Tony said, "Besides I think it would be good for our teamwork, if we don't fight too much over who gets to the pots first." Poor Tony had no idea what his words meant to the uptight virgin from the fourties so he didn't censor at all, he simply meant their teamwork would be improved because of how the sticks get tangled and often times other people have to help you get your food.

Steve's head swam. "You can't just.... Tony, I'm not going to be participating in that! None of you should! I don't understand, I mean, is this a 21st century thing? Is this normal? I don't understand at all. Fondue is strictly for those who are married. And I know Bucky had fondue with a few people, but that's hardly the point! You shouldn't have any sort of fondue with a big group of people, I don't care how many types there are, and you shouldn't do it casually! Team building? No, Tony. That is wrong and, frankly, the idea disgusts me. Are any of you really going to go with this?"

He turned to look at his team.

Bruce looked at his shoes and shuffled around. "I haven't had fondue in a very long time..."

Natasha straight looked him in the eye and said, "I enjoy it on special occasions. There's nothing wrong with it."

Clint piped up, "Sometimes our foster families would have fondue."

Steve gaped. He looked to Thor. "Thor?"

"I have never had fondue. It is something I have greatly looked forward to ever since hearing of it."

He turned to Tony. "I'm not going to stand for this. You all can go on and have whatever type of fondue you like, but I myself am not going to participate in your twisted version of 'team building.'"

"Then what do you want for dinner?' Tony asked, exasperated. Who knew Steve was so picky with his food? "But I don't see how fondue could be digusting, seriously Cap, you are way too uptight." He shook his head, "We'll get something for Steve, but everyone else is alright with that?" he asked.

"I don't want anything from you! That's- it's- look, I understand that the world has moved on without me, but seriously? Is this really what the world has come to? I just- goodness!" Steve said before he stomped out of the room.

Soon enough the fondue pots arrived and the remaining avengers were digging in. Thor particulaly liked the cheese and took great pleasure in filling his sticks with food. More than once Clint had to untangle his food from Thor's with Natasha's help. Tony thought this was alot of fun, all five of them laughing, although there was a bit more of a mess than he would like.

 

* * *

 

Halfway through the dinner, a shy Steve crept into the dining room. 

"Hey, guys." He was dressed in a nice, plain, blue button-up and a pair of dark grey slacks. He had combed his hair straight back instead of in his usual side-swipe. "I-I'm really sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to offend anyone and I want to apologize about my behavior. I'm really sorry about that. I understand that a lot of things have changed since my times, and I don't want anyone to think I wouldn't support them if fondue is the choice they want to make. Um, even regardless of type. I also wanted you all to know that I'm ready to try this," he said earnestly, looking each Avenger in their eyes. He quickly amended, "If that's all right with you?"

"Sure, take a stick," Tony said handing him one. Steve really was an odd cookie, needing permission to eat. Thor slung his arm around Steve showing off his plate of  cheese covered food. "Captian, you simply must try the cheese!" he exclaimed as Bruce extracted a choclate covered piece of fruit from the pot.

He put that in his mental storage. "All right," he said, sitting. What's the chocolate, then?" He got a plate and Thor gave him a cheese-covered...something.

"My favorite," said Bruce. He smiled gratefully at Natasha as she handed him a chocolate-dipped strawberry from her plate.  _Interesting._

Steve thought he got the idea, so he took one of the dipping sticks, dipped it in cheese, and held it out to Tony.

"Nah, you eat it, you're running late after all." Tony said putting a piece of meat  into his mouth. "In fact here," he pushed a few bits of food onto an empty plate.

_Okay,_  Steve thought. That hadn't turned out how he thought it would, but he was still offering, right? So that was...good?

"Thank you," he said humbly. Maybe this was still an introductory phase? Oh, what had Bucky jokingly called it? 'Getting them good and riled up'? Alright. He could play this game. He gulped and began eating, every once in a while tossing Tony a winning smile.

"What? Do I have something in my teeth?" Tony asked seeing Steve smile at him for about the tenth time. He brought out a piece of freshly cooked meant and placed it on his place to cool. Natasha was trying to make Clint and Bruce eat some cheese or oil because 'chocolate was not a meal.' 

"Um, no," He replied automatically. He poked at the oiled meat with the cheesy pretzel on his plate a minute before looking up, hoping he wasn't making a serious faux pas. "I, ah, don't really know what to do now. I thought everything would just start up immediately. Is this what you normally do? I mean, the whole 'waiting' thing. I mean, do I have to do everything, or can I just take Tony to...wherever it is this happens at? It doesn't happen here, does it?" He asked, stiffening at the thought. But he had said he was alright with his team's choices, and he'd be willing to try this, so he forced himself to accept whatever answer he would recieve.

"Im not waiting for anything," Bruce said biting into his food and Thor nodded brightly, "I do not believe there is more to fondue than the eating," he confirmed.

"Why would you take me somewhere? What do you think fondue is?" Asked Tony.

Steve turned beet red. "Please don't make me say it," he begged, but the look on everyone's face had him taking a deep breath and saying, "You  _know_. _Fonduing._  With people that you...y'know... _like._ " His explanation must have run a little short of the mark, because nobody but Natasha looked like they had a clue about what was happening. 

"Natasha, please help me explain this so it doesn't turn out wrong. You know what I'm talking about, right?"

She smirked, inwardly laughing at what Steve thought fondue was, "Oh Steve, I have no clue what you're talking about." However the way she smiled let him know that she did in fact understand him. Everyone else was just confused, Thor didn't seem to care that much and was instead focusing on the fondue.

If possible, the poor soldier turned even more red. "I thought fondueing meant-gah! It sounds dirty, but there's no other way to say it- getting intimate with someone. And I thought we would be doing that by now, instead of sitting around here eating fondue. There's three different types!" He added, as if that would help. "Anyone? Oh, god, tell me this means what I thought it meant. Natasha?" He noticed the thoughtful look in Bruce's eyes and asked, "Bruce?" 

But it was Tony who responded first, "You thought we were going to have an orgy?" He asked incrediously, "Seriously dirty mind there Steve, this meal, what we are eating, is fondue. And another thing, 'getting intimate' I bet I can list over twenty English words for sex and not use that one."

Steve's ears burned red now.

"Can you please not use that word?! It's so, so vulgar! And please, don't say anything, I don't want to hear your list. I'm perfectly fine not knowing this time."

He hung his head. Suddenly the way his hands were clenching over his napkin was more interesting than anything else the room had to offer.

"Sorry...I- sorry," he muttered.

Tony mused over their last few conversations, it was a lot funnier now that he knew what Steve was going on about. "So you want to go fonduing with me?" he teased, but quite honstetly he wasn't aposed to the idea- I mean have you _seen_ Cap's ass?

"Well, I thought, well, yes. I thought because this was a new century and nobody seemed to be opposed, and, well, Thor said cheese was his favorite! And I know what happened between his brother and that horse, so I thought...anyway. It's fine if you don't want to." He cleared his throat after his rambling speech, during which he'd only looked up once, to glare at Thor for misleading him, and made to leave the room.

"Oh come on Steve, you have to eat. I don't want Captain America dropping in a fight," Tony reasoned. "And I'm sorry for leading you wrong." That didn't mean he woudn't if he had known.

"Um, thanks, but no thanks. I think I'll just be in my room," he replied, and fled the room for his own.

 

* * *

 

Later, in the night where Tony was supposed to be sleeping, there was no noise. A quick look to the lab would have revealed that it was also desolate. Everyone else was in their beds except for Iron Man.

In his defense, though, he was in a bed, even if it wasn't his own. Fondue was one of his favorite things, and it wasn't nearly as fun having it in two separate rooms.


End file.
